For My Momma

Today is my mom's first birthday in Heaven and surprisingly I've done pretty good. We went to church and then had Pandan Thai for lunch.  She would always ask for it when she came for a visit.  This evening I attended a counseling session called Surviving the Holidays.  It was put on by the Grief Share group.  Going there let me know that I am doing OK.  Nelson and my boys give me so much light during this hard time.  Some of the people in the group were struggling a lot with the holiday season and I do feel that, but I also feel so much JOY and excitement. This year Clayton understands so much more.  He gets excited about Christmas lights and didn't scream when we went and saw Santa.  Charlie is in love with the Christmas tree and has just started crawling and exploring so much more.  As much as all this helps, today is still her birthday and I want to honor her and remember her.  For months after she passed I carried her eulogy around in my purse.  It was hard to write and even harder to give but I was proud of it.  I think it is time to get rid of it so I wanted to write it here first.  Feels like something I need to do.

Eulogy for JoAnne Deck Stewart given on Friday, March 25, 2016

I knew if I didn't say something today I would regret it and I'm working really hard on living a life of no regrets.

I never imagined I would be here this soon for my mom. She was my best friend. It will take a while for me to understand why her, why now, why like that, but I have to trust that God needed her more than I do. I find great relief knowing she is pain free in Heaven with her daddy, sister Rosie, and most recently her brother-in-law RD whom we lost last month.

I wanted to talk about my mom and the type of person she was. Some of you when to high school with my mom or maybe you knew her through various jobs. Maybe from the fireworks stand or VFW with my dad, but I want to tell you about the woman I knew.

My mom loved her bling. She loved clunky flip flops with all the jewels and big jewelry.  She loved her job at MD Able, her coworker Sarah, and her girls. She loved that she was able to help raise her office baby Hallie and told me it was great practice for her grandson Clayton.

My mom loved her rescue dogs and her home out in the country.

She loved her crafts.  I didn't get her love of blingy shoes and big jewelry but I did inherit her love of crafting and I'll always be grateful for that.  Mom loved spending the first weekend of every month with her sisters down at Wimberly.  Some months should would only make enough to cover her gas but it didn't matter. It was time with her family and that was priceless.

Finally she loved her family.  Mom married my dad on her 18th birthday and this past December they celebrated 40 years together.  She told me the story of how he father said he would pay for her college or she could marry Bob.  She picked Bob and never looked back. I was their only child and she was always so supportive of everything I did.  She attended every band concert and football game. She helped me get my first job at what used to be Hal Harton Ford and taught me the value of hard work. When I went away to college she sad she was sad so she got a lap dog. The lap dog turned out to be a 30 lb miniature poodle named Boo.

She loved my husband from the first time I brought him home.  As we were leaving on the visit Nelson asked my parents if he could marry be, she called me to tell he asked before we were even out of the driveway!  Excited was an understatement.  I can still hear her reaction when we found out we were expecting Clayton.  She so badly wanted to be a grandma and I'm so glad we were able to do that for her.  I'm just sorry it was only for 21 months.  She was over the moon about the new baby too. When I would visit her in the rehab hospital she would always say "This is my daughter Tristine and this is Charlie. He will be here in May." My mom was in the delivery room with us when Clayton was born and I like to think she will be there with Charlie as well.

I could talk about her for days but I will attempt to close here.  My mom was such an easy person to love because she always treated others with kindness and respect. She always tried to have a positive outlook on things. Even in the rehab hospital, where she was one of the youngest patients and facing some of the hardest recovery, she always tried to keep a smile on her face.  I have never seen so many nurses get attached to a patient.  They cried tears right
along with us during those last few days in the hospital.  I can only hope that one day I could leave that type of impression on people. Than I can be as kind and caring as she was. That is the legacy I want to care on and instill in my children.